Dear Younger Me (Be More Than An MVP)
Dear Younger Me,
Be more than an MVP. It’s easy to feel like you aren’t good enough when you can’t score the points. But Megan, there’s more to life than scoring points! The skills will fade, but how you choose to live lasts far longer.
I know you don’t want to think so sometimes, but your mental attitude is more important than the talent. And I’ve been there, receiving a mental attitude trophy when you wanted something more. What I hope for you is that when you receive an award like that, that you won’t be disappointed like I was (because I regret feeling that way!). When you’re holding it in your hand asking if your mental attitude was all you brought to your team, realize this instead: You were recognized for your character. Your leadership. Your willingness to work hard and serve in little ways. And teams most definitely need that.
Work hard to improve your skills, yes. Dream big, yes. But don’t let the title “MVP” be your mission. God gave you gifts and talents, but He doesn’t just care about those things, He cares about your heart.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
You love to hear the words “I’m proud of you,” but you struggle to be proud of yourself. Your overthinking, perfectionist, people-pleasing self doesn’t often allow you to feel like you’ve done a good job. You see mistakes and regrets more than the good things, but I want for you to acknowledge the ways you have grown.
I challenge you to look back and see with different eyes. Look back at some of the things you’ve accomplished that were hard or out of your comfort zone and see how far you’ve come or how you were brave. It doesn’t even have to be something big. Maybe it’s a little moment that mattered in a big way. For example, when you score a lot of points in a basketball game, you’ll feel like you’ve made your family proud. But your favorite moments of high school basketball are going to be those moments you played some great defense. Whatever they may be, hold onto those big and little moments and let yourself celebrate them and take joy in them. I know it’s hard to believe, but you don’t have to wait for other people to be proud of you to be proud of yourself, either.
However, there is One who we should be seeking to make proud, and that’s God. A friend will tell you, “God is proud of you.” You will struggle to believe it, and I wish when I had heard those words, I would have taken hold of them instead of doubting them. Still, I encourage you to keep seeking and striving to make Him proud. Though your insecurities may keep you from being proud of and delighting in yourself, remember God delights in His children.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
I know that you try to not let it bother you when you’re left out, not invited, and not included, all in places where there should be inclusion. I know it does bother you, though. You feel like you’re not good enough, but that’s not true.
But your heart is a treasure, and who you surround yourself with is important. Don’t change yourself to fit in, don’t let go of your values, and don’t let the feeling of being “unwanted” define you.
If I could do it over, I wish I would have taken more of those moments and found someone else who needed included, and I wish I would have worked to include them. This doesn’t mean you need to create your own clique – I despise cliques in team dynamics. It just means work to be an includer for the others who find themselves outside the circle, too.
Remember the woman at the well in the Bible? She felt like an outcast in the entire town. But Jesus knew everything about her, He didn’t leave her out. Jesus doesn’t leave you out, either.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
I wish big decisions were easier. I smile as I write this, because I know how much you want decisions to be easy. You laugh at yourself at restaurants with endless menus because it takes you a while to decide what you really want, and it would be much easier if you had to choose between two or three items. Yet some decisions have more weight than that, and it becomes hard as you try to choose between two very good or very different options.
As I face a big decision right now, I’d love to tell you I have the perfect formula. Maybe a few years from now with a little more wisdom I’d have a better idea of what I’d say to you. I can share some snippets of little wisdoms with you right now, though.
A first piece of advice I’d share with you is to be patient in the process – don’t try to figure it all out in an hour. I’m feeling a little stressed right now about making this decision, but I’m trying to remind myself that the worry doesn’t help. Jesus can help sort the decision out more than the worry can. Over and over, you’ll hear your family remind you, “Pray about it.” Invite Him into the process.
Second, look for the open doors. I know you want flashy, neon signs, or loud shouts from God directing you, “This way! This choice!” I wish He worked that way. But you’ll see within every big decision you’ll make, doors will open to opportunities that could only be from the hand of God. Here’s something for you to remember – I’ve been told several times that in situations like this, God can work in whichever decision is made. I’ve said no to an opportunity before, and I believe He worked in that decision. And I’ve said yes before, and God has also worked in beautiful ways in those. So while you may face a dilemma staring at two choices, know God can work in either, but it does help to look closely for how He’s working and moving and opening doors.
Third, sometimes a pro/con list helps. That’s the perfectionistic planner in you trying to make the best decision possible, and while I wouldn’t suggest marrying yourself to the list when it comes to the decision, it will help you organize your thoughts and lay it all out on the table.
Decisions aren’t easy, so breathe. Get advice from the people who can speak into your life, sure. Remember how God has worked in your life before. Take another deep breath.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
You’ll have moments where you’ll feel like you really blew it. You’ll mess something up, and you’ll feel sick to your stomach as you’re mulling it over and over. Some day you might laugh about some of those things, but I know some mistakes are hard to forget.
But here’s what I would hope for you – that you’d learn to see that mistakes don’t make you unlovable. That you’d recognize that you’re human. That you’d remind yourself of who you really are and pour God’s truth over yourself when you naturally want to see yourself as a failure when things like this happen.
Because here’s the thing – when you feel like no one could love you, God still does. He’s loved you through every “I’ve blown it” moment you have had and ever will. And trust me, you’ll feel so much better when you remind yourself of that instead of reliving the failure in your head. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge the mistake, and take what you learned, pick yourself up, and move forward, but choose not to live in the identity that the mistake makes YOU a mistake. That is the furthest from the truth. You are not a mistake, because God doesn’t make mistakes.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me (On The Days Your Heart Hurts)
Dear Younger Me,
On the days your heart just hurts, know you’re loved. On the days you’ll want to launch tennis balls into the stratosphere because you’re angry or you want to shove your face into a pillow and let all the tears out, you are loved.
I want you to know that it is okay to cry. You like to internalize and shove your feelings down, but there’s going to be a time in your life when you simply won’t be able to hold the tears back anymore. Let ‘em out. It’s apparently healthy. But for you, it’ll be necessary. I know you want to hide the red, puffy eyes, but you’re human, so let ‘em go.
It’s easy on the heartache days to only see the heartache, and you won’t want to think about the good God can create out of the hurt. But I hope you’ll see that someday. I hope that when you can’t seem to stop crying or when the emotions hit out of nowhere that you’ll remember God is making you stronger. Because every time I look back at one of those moments you’ll experience, I see how God picked me up and grew me. It’s been painful, yes. Like a chisel. Or a jackhammer. Maybe a power washer.
The point is, on the days your heart hurts, remember God’s growing you. You might not see immediate progress, but it’s there. And on the days your heart hurts, surround yourself with people who love you. Make the choice to hope, make the choice to be loved, and make the choice to find joy.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
I know you’re struggling with trying to make friends. But you actually have some pretty great ones, and eventually you’ll find out who. I know you struggle with feeling a part of your youth group and feeling like you belong on your sports teams. Yet while you won’t be BFFs with the girls you played with, you will become a leader for them. You won’t even know it. You’ll later find out what your leadership by example meant to them.
But as far as friends go, it’s going to be okay. First of all, you will make friends. There’s nothing wrong with you, so just be patient. Yes, some friends just won’t end up sticking around. I think that’s just how it goes. Some friends you’ll be able to pick right back up with, and some will be with you every step of the way since pre-school. Some of the friends you’ll meet will be in the most unexpected ways. God had a sense of humor with some of them! Some friends will change your life in the most fantastic, beautiful ways – they’ll be your friends for life. Some will go to different colleges. Some of them will move across the country. It’ll hurt and it’ll be sad, but it won’t mean they love you any less or that you’ll love them any less.
Sometimes you’ll be that friend for someone else. And sometimes you’ll be the one to mess up. But remember grace. You’ll have tough moments, but you’ll have the most amazing ones, too. You’ll even get to stand by one in her wedding. You’ll realize some of your friends give some pretty great hugs. You’ll realize that friendship isn’t defined by distance. You’ll cherish some pretty wonderful people from other countries. You’ll also realize that friendship isn’t defined by age. You’ll get some really great advice from people who are older than you, and you’ll realize how special it is to love on some friends much younger than you, too.
Little me, I know you struggle. I wish I could tell you that you won’t struggle with worrying about friendships when you’re older. You still will. You’ll still feel lonely sometimes. But when you’ll really think about it, you’ll realize you’re loved more than you know. You have so many people in your corner. Your sisters are your friends for life. You’ll even realize that your mom and dad are your friends, too. You’ll still be learning that Jesus is your friend. Your heart will hurt so much sometimes, you’ll doubt Him. But just read Romans 8. You’ll be reminded how much He really is for you.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
It is okay to say no. You’re such a “yes” girl. You and your sisters will joke about what your life would be in one word…they said yours would be “yes.” I know you hate letting people down. I know you want to please and impress. But I wish you would ask yourself why. I think deep down, more than wanting someone to be pleased with you or impressed by you, I think you really worry that if you say no to someone, they’ll love you less. I wish it didn’t take till the end of college for you to hear this, but you’ll hear a graduate say her employer actually appreciated it when she said she had enough on her plate. She was simply honest with herself and her employer. I wish you knew it is okay to do the same at work and in your relationships.
You don’t need to bend over backwards for people to love you. Younger me, they love you so much already. In fact, it hurts them to see you so burned out. Eventually, they’ll start to ask you if they should take things off your plate for you. Ironically, this is when you’ll say no, because you feel like you have to carry everything and if you let something go, you won’t be loved as much.
I wish you would just see that all the things you do don’t make someone love you more. I wish you would see that saying no doesn’t make someone love you less. Remember what you’ve always been told – the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Don’t make yourself too busy pleasing people you can’t give time to the people and relationships that truly matter to you, including yourself. And goodness gracious, spend some time with God. You let yourself get so busy running around for other people that you forget Him. He’s the One whose pleasure in you really matters.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
What an exciting time this is for you! I know you don’t exactly feel over-the-moon excited, but there’s a lot I wish you would cherish in this moment. You envy your friends who are itching to get out of the house, while you feel like you have one foot at home and one out the door. You’re still looking behind you at everything you’re walking away from: sports, clubs, teachers, and friends. Everything you defined yourself by is now finished, and you’re looking ahead at a lot of unknowns. The cool thing, though, is that this is a time you can explore who you are without those things. I wish I had done more resting and dreaming then. Because high school was busy, and college was busy, and I longed for the time to breathe. Here’s your time to do that. Read some new books. Go swimming. Do something fun. Love on the people around you and let yourself be loved on, too.
Here’s where you struggle: you so badly want to define yourself by what you do. This couple of months has been eating at you because you don’t have anything to define you anymore, yet I want you to know there’s beauty in that. You’ll learn this a lot in college and beyond, but it’s God who defines who you are. What a relief that you don’t! I’m thankful for that – God has given me so much today beyond my expectations that I’d never have planned for myself, and you’ll see that someday.
So enjoy these moments without definition, and enjoy your family and friends. It’s okay to be nervous about college. If you were starting in 2020, there would be a lot you would be nervous about. But for you, it’s okay to be nervous leaving home, yet you don’t have to live worried about who you are. God’s got a lot in store for you!
Love,
Megan
Chicago:
Jump Fest
Location: Walnut Trails Elementary School, 301 Wynstone Dr, Shorewood, IL 60404
Website: facebook.com/events/614890125912101/permalink/624207608313686/
Date/Time: 2/8, 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Bring your children to jump on inflatables all day! It costs $10 per jumper, with the ability to come and go throughout the day.
Winterfest
Location: Annerino Community Center, 201 Recreation Dr, Bolingbrook, IL 60440
Website: bolingbrookparks.org/en/trending/mark-your-calendars/winterfest/
Date/Time: 2/8, 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Enjoy both indoor and outdoor activities with the family at this free event. Activities range from snowball slingshot to an indoor climbing wall and a ninja obstacle course.
Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago Family Day
Location: Museum of Contemporary Art, 220 E. Chicago Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611
Date/Time: 2/8, 11:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Join the Museum of Contemporary Art for a free family day, with the theme “Junk Monster.” Interact with Chicago artists to learn more about the junk on our planet and where it goes.
Northwest Indiana:
Family Movie at the Library
Location: Crown Point Community Library, 122 North Main Street, Crown Point, IN 46307
Website: https://crownpointlibrary.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/15/2020/01/CPCL_Newsletter_Feb_2020.pdf
Date/Time: 2/9, 1:30-3:30 p.m.
Enjoy The Angry Birds Movie 2 with your family and free popcorn as well!
Valentine’s Day Pet Pictures
Location: 2912 Calumet Ave, Valparaiso, IN 46383
Date/Time: 2/8, 11:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Healthi Paws is hosting a free picture event where you can get a Valentine’s picture of your pet!
Indianapolis:
Valentine’s Family Craft Day
Location: Garfield Park Arts Center, 2432 Conservatory Drive, Indianapolis, Indiana
Website: facebook.com/events/1059226547803244/
Date/Time: 2/8, 12:00 – 4:00 p.m.
Create Valentine’s Day crafts and cards with the family, and enjoy some treats as well! You can pre-register (though it’s not required), and it is $2 per person.
Air-Dry Clay Hearts
Location: The Art Lab, 31 E Main St., Suite 300, (Enter via 37 Main Street), Carmel, Indiana 46032
Website: facebook.com/events/the-art-lab/free-event-air-dry-clay-hearts-meet-me-on-main/612046189586915/
Dates/Times: 2/8, 5:00 – 8:30 p.m.
Enjoy this free event where you can make air-dry clay hearts.
Great Train Show
Location: Indiana State Fairgrounds, 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205
Website: https://local.aarp.org/event/great-train-show-2020-02-08-indianapolis-in.html
Date/Time: 2/8 & 2/9, 10:00 a.m.
Enjoy this event that includes model train sets and activities for kids, including a riding train. Tickets are $10 for adults, and children 11 and under have free admission.
Lansing:
Lansing Symphony Family Series
Location: CADL Downtown Lansing, 401 South Capitol Ave., Lansing, MI 48933
Website: facebook.com/events/1345419388955753/
Date/Time: 2/9, 3:00 – 5:00 p.m.
Enjoy a concert with a focus on helping young children enjoy music and literature and an interactive performance with the musicians.
Zoo in Your Neighborhood
Location: Briggs District Library, 108 E Railroad St St. Johns, MI 48879
Website: potterparkzoo.org/ziyn/
Date/Time: 2/8, 1:00 – 2:00 p.m.
At this free event, hear stories and interact with animal ambassadors.
Sing, Dance & Move Saturday Storytime
Location: Grand Ledge Area District Library, 131 E Jefferson St, Grand Ledge, Michigan 48837
Website: facebook.com/events/775042392944807/
Date/Time: 2/8, 3:30 – 4:00 p.m.
Expect an energetic time with singing, dancing, moving, and stories to entertain your kids!