Dear Younger Me (At the Bottom of the Totem Pole)
Dear Younger Me,
The bottom of the totem pole is not a bad place to be. In fact, it can be a really good thing. Remember your first year of high school basketball? Your twin got to be on JV, but you were on the freshman team, sometimes playing JV. The beauty of that year was that even though you were at the bottom, you learned so much and got so much experience that the next year they wanted you to not only play on JV but on varsity, too.
Sometimes you might be faced with a decision between two opportunities, one prestigious but with little room to grow and one less prestigious but with so much potential for you to grow. You’re not one to enjoy sitting on the bench, so I might encourage you to pick the one that leads to growth, still making sure you have carefully thought about it, of course. Don’t marry yourself to this “rule,” but I’ve found beauty in it several times!
Yet sometimes, you’re going to feel like what you do doesn’t matter. There’s a quote that says something like “Faithfulness in the little things leads to faithfulness in the big things.” I’ve also heard it said that if God called you to a job the world sees as lowly, taking a job as the President would be a step down. So do the very best you can do with what you have and where you’re at. Let God use those seasons to build your character and grow you. Because when you look back, you’ll see what a blessing those seasons were.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Go outside. When your parents have you do chores outside or when you’re told to play outside after school, breathe it in. There might be other places you’d rather be or other things you’d rather be doing, and you might think you are the only kids who are forced to play outside, but one day you’ll appreciate the freedom of being able to sit or go for a walk outside. I’m glad it’s never been that you’ve not liked going outside – It’s the yardwork that you don’t like. Yet, even yardwork can be good for you when you do it.
You’ll go through school or read online all the positive health benefits of being outside, but for you, it’s space to breathe. It’s space to take a break from what you’re doing to be calm as you sit, or, to direct some focused energy into the tasks at hand. Because you’re you, you’re thinking all the time, but being outside makes thinking better. And when life gets busy, you won’t always have that freedom. In fact, I think you should make yourself freer to go outside.
Yeah, pulling weeds isn’t always a beautiful thing. But it does good. And sunsets and fireflies and fresh air and sunshine are just good. God called creation good, and you have the amazing opportunity to enjoy it, so go enjoy it.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
It’s a season of reflection, and sometimes that reflection can hurt as you think about what was versus what is or how you wish for things to be. As important as I believe reflection is, I think you need to be careful, too. You can get caught in the heartbreak of past seasons without remembering the growth that came from them.
Remember that time you had a bad dream and Mom told you to think about good things and good thoughts? While reflecting, you’ll come across those “bad dreams,” and I encourage you to not try to erase them and slap good thoughts in their places, but to remember that good came from those hard times. As you think about the good in those hard things, you can celebrate how far you’ve come, how much you’ve grown, and how God led you through those times.
Don’t let yourself get dramatic over it, as you can’t change the past. Instead, recognize that remembering hurts but rise above it and own where you are now. And I think you’ll be really proud of yourself when you do.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Remember Kindness Points? Mom created the system so you and your sisters would be motivated to serve each other in kindness. Looking back, I appreciate Mom’s effort to encourage kindness in us, because I wish I would have kept it up. Back then, you got too smart and were quick to find ways to serve your sisters to earn more points just so you could earn your prizes (not Mom’s ultimate goal for it at all), but my hope for you now is that you would learn that it isn’t about the prizes. God’s call to a life of service is about loving people and serving them in the ways you can to bring glory to Him, not so you can get a prize or brownie points. My hope is that you would make kindness your life, just not about the points.
Kindness and service can be hard to do because it’s not yet your natural way of living. You hate to admit it, but you can be very self-centered. I’ve been learning recently that Jesus served people in the moments where he was interrupted. Unlike Jesus, interruptions are hard for you and your to-do list and plans to handle.
I hope you learn to appreciate those interruptions because in those moments you have the opportunity to change your attitude and serve. Your plans might be derailed and your to-do list might be put on hold, but when you meet others where they are to help them, your life becomes about others instead of you. Kindness and service aren’t always about having set volunteer hours every week, because it’s a lifestyle, and there are opportunities each day to help the people around you. Hold to what it says at the beginning of 1 Corinthians 14, “Let love be your highest goal!”
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Don’t take where you are for granted. In the unlovely moments, the routine days, or when you’re longing for more adventure, be thankful for what you’ve got now. Your life can be an adventure now. As you watch TV and scroll through social media and Pinterest boards, it’s easy to wish for a different life – one that’s Hallmark-worthy or one that’s chalked full of adventures and new sights to see.
But instead of wishing for a more adventurous life, find ways to add adventure to the life you’ve got. It might not be going on a hike to see the waterfalls of Oregon, but you can find ways to make the best memories with the people in your life right here and now. Maybe it’s putting up the Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving or eating a picnic in the backyard. Maybe it’s driving to the beach on a windy fall day or going to the farmers’ market with friends.
Before you do that though, you need to give yourself the freedom to make time. Let yourself relax a little, letting some tasks be “imperfect,” so that you can enjoy the life God’s given you. And when you look at your life really closely, you’ll see that there are adventurous, life-filled moments you’ve forgotten about. So, there’s no need to be wishing for another life when God’s already given you a beautiful one!
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Choose worship over worry. I wish I could tell you I’ve mastered it. I haven’t. In fact, this past week I let worry get the best of me, and it wasn’t pretty. Instead of fighting all the worry and anxiety with the truth of God’s Word, or spending time in His presence, I let myself spin.
So my advice to you now is to choose worship instead. The brief moments where you did worship brought you peace, because you were reminded “God’s got this.” If anything, take notice of the people in your life who tell you the same thing. When they worship, the worry fades away. Focus on the problem turns to focus on God when you fix your eyes on Him.
Nothing you experience goes unnoticed by Him. Sing, go outside for some air, read the Bible and pray. Your exasperation and frustration with problems don’t really get you anywhere but further from the One who knows what He’s doing. Yes, it’s hard, but bring it all before Him with thanksgiving. I want for you to experience the joy and peace you could experience instead of worry if you’d only just give it all to Him.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Let go of what’s in your hands. Mom will tell you someday that you’re trying to carry it all on your own when you don’t need to. What God has for you is for you, and nothing can change His plan. You try so hard to muster your own way through, forgetting that God already has it all in His hands. Think about this – you love a good hug, but you can’t hug well when you’re carrying things in your hands and arms, right? The best, most beautiful hugs happen when you have nothing in your hands. Lay it all down at God’s feet, then embrace Him.
Someday you’ll go rock climbing and learn this firsthand, but the path on the rock wall is called a “problem.” When you either make it to the top of the problem or can’t go any further (which is usually the case for you), you have to let go of the wall. Climbing back down the problem on your own is more time-consuming and uses more of your strength. Letting go of the wall takes trust in the person or system that belays you and holds your rope to bring you down safely. Relying on God’s strength and trusting Him through your problems also takes letting go of the things you think you need to hold onto.
Surrendering your desires to His will isn’t easy, especially when you compare your life to your friends’ lives. It’s easy to see everything you think God is holding you back from, all the ways you think you’ve fallen behind in life, but God has a plan for you. It isn’t like anyone else’s plan. It’s all yours. Embrace Him, and embrace His plan for you.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
It’s been a week where I wish I could bubble wrap everything – the car, the laptop, my retainer…and this heart. When things break, you immediately want to be cautious moving forward, which isn’t a bad thing, but you can’t stop driving or working or eating just because you’re afraid of damaging those things again. Things break, life happens. Staying positive helps you feel better, and God does provide.
You can’t bubble wrap hearts, either. In 2 Timothy 1:7, it says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear but of “love, power, and self-discipline.” You were made to love and be loved. And though you may be afraid of hurting others or letting them down, you also can’t bubble wrap their hearts. Love and fear don’t play together well. Think about this – if you built up a wall to prevent hurt, you’d never experience what it’s like to be loved.
Bubble wrap isn’t the answer. While you might want to put bubble wrap on your Christmas list, don’t allow yourself to live in fear. God didn’t design you that way. He designed you to live in power and love.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Let people in. Beautiful things happen when you open up your heart. When you open up, others open up, and that’s when a beautiful thing called trust grows. When you share what’s bothering you, you open yourself up to the possibility that others can help you instead of trying to get through the struggle on your own. Whether it’s a cookie-brownie, a book recommendation, cheerleading through words of affirmation, prayers, or a hug, you’ll find friends and family ready to help you when you let them in the deep places.
It’s up to you to be honest. Sometimes, they’ll see you’re not yourself and ask if you’re okay. At other times, ask for encouragement yourself, because if no one knows you’re hurting, no one can help. There are moments that won’t be suited for a heart-to-heart and that’s okay, but you’ll know when to not pass them up.
God already knows what’s in the deep places of your heart, and you should invite Him in, too. Remember though, that God created you to live in community, and some of the most wonderful encouragement comes through community.
Love,
Megan
Dear Younger Me,
Hey, you. This is one you’ll need to read a lot. I don’t know if you’ll ever master it, and I hope you will, but it’s something I still struggle with and hope you will learn from me now. Here it is in three simple (or not so simple) words: Give yourself grace.
I wish you would hold onto this in every area of your life more than I have. In sports, when you are scared to mess up but you’re just learning what to do, give yourself grace, because you will learn. In school, when the weight of homework keeps you up at night, give yourself grace, and allow your best to be good enough. When you move into a new season of life and can’t stop the tears because you are grieving the old, give yourself grace, because you’re doing your best.
The people around you see your hard work, and they care about your hard work, but they also care about you. They don’t expect perfection, and they know the days just get hard sometimes. You don’t need to muscle your way through on your own.
You’re not only human, but you’re also learning. You can try to carry yourself on your own, and you can try to be perfect, but the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 ‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”’ Remember God’s grace, and give yourself some grace, too, okay?
Love,
Megan